Part 2: Spiralling, Surging, So Intense: Understanding Emotions for Adults with ADHD
For many ADHDers, emotions don’t arrive quietly, they surge. A small frustration can feel like an avalanche, a moment of joy can bring tears, and a minor disappointment can spiral into overwhelming distress.. These experiences are a reflection of the way the ADHD brain processes and regulates emotional cues.
Research shows that difficulties with emotional regulation are one of the most overlooked aspects of ADHD, even though it affects self-esteem, relationships, work, and wellbeing.
Why emotions may feel amplified
Neurobiology
ADHD involves differences in brain circuitry, which means less “pause time” before reacting. Emotions can leap forward before the reasoning brain has a chance to filter or soften them.
Hormonal influences
For women, fluctuations across the menstrual cycle, pregnancy, postpartum, and menopause can all intensify ADHD-related arousal and reactivity. For example, oestrogen dips in the premenstrual phase are linked with reduced dopamine activity, often heightening irritability, distractibility, or emotional overwhelm.
Masking and suppression
Many neurodivergent people hide or minimise their emotions to meet cultural and social expectations. Suppression may work in the short term, but often leads to spill-over later, when feelings burst out more intensely.
Cumulative load
Balancing the invisible labour of work, home, caregiving, and other responsibilities on top of ADHD-related challenges can overwhelm tolerance thresholds and make strong reactions more likely.
Practical tools
Pause
Brief grounding practices, like slow breathing, stretching, or sensory resets, can help create a moment of space before responding.
Emotion labelling
Naming an emotion (“I feel overwhelmed”) reduces over-activation and helps bring perspective.
ADHD-friendly self-soothing
Movement snacks: Two minutes of stretching, dancing to one song, or walking to the mailbox.
Micro-journalling: Jot down one word, phrase, or emoji to capture the feeling.
Sensory anchors: Keep a textured object, scented lotion, or calming playlist handy.
Body resets: Deep sighs, lying on the floor, or wrapping in a blanket can restore calm quickly.
Relational repair
Simple clarifications (“That came out stronger than I intended”) can help protect trust and connection in relationships.
Closing thought
For people with ADHD, big feelings can deepen empathy, authenticity, and resilience. Learning to recognise and regulate emotional waves, rather than suppress them, is central to thriving with ADHD. Want to learn more about managing the emotional rollercoaster? Click here.
